Chossen V’Kallah
The Hebrew words for groom (chossen) and bride (kallah). The wedding couple is likened to a King and Queen and are to be treated with great honor and fanfare on the day of their wedding and the week following.

The Mikvah
Just prior to the wedding (within the final 4 days), a bride immerses herself in the mikvah (a ritual bath), with the purpose of spiritual purification. Oftentimes grooms pay a visit to the mikvah before their weddings as well. The Mikvah is an essential part of the the Jewish laws of family purity. It is customary for the bride and groom to learn these laws with a teacher during the period of engagement.

Week Before The Wedding
There is a custom in the Ashkenazi community that the bride and groom not see each other for the entire week leading up to their wedding. While there is no definitive source for this tradition, its benefits are believed to increase the joy of seeing each other again when they are reunited at the wedding. It also prevents the bride and groom from unintentionally hurting each other emotionally during the inevitable stress and strain of the final week before the wedding.

Shomer/Shomeret
While the word shomer (masculine)/shomeret (feminine) literally means a “guard,” the role of the shomer/shomeret is more like that of a best man/maid of honor. The job of the shomer/shomeret is to make certain that the bride and groom arrive to the wedding safely and as stress-free as possible. Additionally, during the time that the bride and groom do not see each other before the wedding, the shomer/shomeret will often act as go-betweens for the couple.

AufRuf
It is customary for a groom to be called up for an aliyah and recite a blessing over the Torah on the Shabbat before his wedding. After the groom’s aliyah, the congregation will often sing “Siman Tov u’Mazal Tov” to him and may pelt him with candy as a fun way to wish him a sweet new life.

Shabbat Kallah
On the Shabbat before the wedding, the bride’s friends and loved ones, as well as women from the community, gather together to celebrate the bride, bring her joy, make her laugh, and help keep away the last minute jitters.

Like Yom Kippur
Because the bride and groom are starting a new life together, their wedding day is considered to be a personal Yom Kippur for each of them. For this reason, it is customary to add the Yom Kippur confessional to their private afternoon prayers. This is also the reason why many couples fast (see below) on the day of their wedding.

Fasting for the Wedding
While there is a strong custom for both the bride and groom to refrain from eating and drinking on the day of their wedding, there is some leeway. If either feels weak or ill from fasting, they are permitted to eat. And, if it is the first day of the new month, the day after a holiday, or a holiday such as Chanukah, we are prohibited from fasting.